When your cherished pet dies, a simple burial just won't do! Celebrate their memory and treat yourself too with my signature funerary neck scarves.

I hope my 50-states butter sculpture will be ready in time for Diddy's Celebrity Bingo Match.

Peppermint spice-flavored medical thread will infuse my injectables with some post-sugerical holiday cheer.

By placing this hurricane globe and spray of brightly colored flowers on the table between us, I've diverted your attention away from the unfortunately drab shawl of the woman beside me. This is called "showcasing."

Unfortunately, I found it necessary to call the authorities on the picnic-themed birthday party that did not include my signature ants on a log cake. My apologies.

You kid, but I'm telling you, I actually made a fringe rug out of my own shriveled afterbirth.

Yes, this is definitely the year of the champagne punch cocktail with a turducken twist.